Friday, November 28, 2008
I WANNA GO JOGGING~!I WANNA GO DESTRESS~!I WANNA BE LESS EMO AFTER JOGGING~!I WANNA JOG BETWEEN 2PM TO 5PM!I WANT MY UNHAPPY STUFFS TO BE GONE WITH MY SWEAT~!I WANNA SWEAT ALOT DURING JOGGING~!I WANNA PPL TO JOG WITH ME~!I NEED THE JOGS~!lol~ you all must be thinking that i am crazy right?haha~ i guess jogging will make me feel better?And yeah.. Best if i get a sunburn~Really wish that things I worry will disappear with my sweat~I worry about friends, a few in particular~Worry about myself...Worry about my studies...
Sorry to Liting and gang...Today emo...Cos my day started in a lousy mood...And it got worse as it reached evening...Wanted to ask Shi Heng to go jogging with me in NYP or the park at Cheng San CC...Forgot to bring my sports attire too... haiz...Thought could ask him help me take from my house...In the end, I walked from Blk A to Sports Hall area...And it made me have the urge to jog lor..But in the end oso never jog.. haha~Really emo-ed cos I got scolded a few times today le...Some is not really scold, but some is really scold...And the most serious one is I am scolding myself for being so careless and dumb and garbage...Then walked to buy Yue Ling's birthday cake and then went steamboat at Cheryl's house...Felt alot better at her house...Cos i felt family warmth...Is so easy to mix into her family...Plus having Michelle, Yue Ling, Cheryl, Nai Zheng, Charles, Liting, Shili around...Those cute and fun people~Dun happy oso cannot... haha~Had udon and rice with steamboat stuffs...Sausages, fishballs, crab sticks etc...I think we were quite A lor...Sausages can link to something else...And Yue Ling keep on kana suaned by us and Cheryl's mum~!Had alot of chinese sausages and udon~!And the soup was super nice~!Thanks alot to Cheryl's mum for the meal...Then the rest went to play games after the meal...And so paiseh lah~ I was making a ppt for Yueling then forgot help to clear up the table!So sorry siaz~Then started our crazy activities..But i dint join in cos i was doing up the ppt!After that took photos with the cake together with my laptop..Then cut cake and took photos...That Yue Ling wanted to be surprised by us...lol~ so diaoz..She pretended she dunno anything about the cake etc and scared like she got a shock =.=Then took photos and played with Cheryl's sister de zhongruan..And Cheryl's mum took out a photo album..Showing us Cheryl's younger times! LOL!Then took lots of photos again...Yup.. Left Cheryl's house at 10plus cos the rest got CO and school activity quite early...Took 265 home with Shili.. Well, we are neighbours =)Once i reached home...I felt really emo again...I guess the companionship and joy managed to hold down my emo genes and prevent them from reacting for a period of time...Now when i reached home... They start reacting again...And yeah.. Liting they all told me not to emo cos they aint really used...Cos Zi Wei is always considered lame and noisy?But the true self of Zi Wei is quiet, introvert, emo ever since sec 3...A guy who has to force a smile out on his face to pretend that the day starts happily and ends happily wen he reaches home...A guy who can cry easily and yet always holding back his tears to act strong in front of ppl cos he is a man...A guy who is soft hearted and yet has to act tough and bad so that he wont get disturbed like in the past...A guy who you will never know wat's in his mind or heart...I guess thats the real Zi Wei...The happy-go-lucky, extrovert, cheerful Zi Wei exists only for a certain time..After that, he falls into a deep sleep, waiting to be awaken again...Sometimes.. I just need some time to think through things...So yeah.. Sorry for being quiet or emo~I think i will always need to go jogging or have a long nice walk around the school...Think through what's bothering me...Why am I feel this way...?And hopefully, I get the answer/solution.. Then become cheerful again..But that will take me a long time? =xHaha~ I guess i going out for a late night walk again now...Wanna feel better be4 sleeping...Maybe i wont be home tonight also (which is not very possible cos my parents wont allow it)Update photos soon...Readers, pls rest well..To close gangs, thanks for your concern =)
killed myself at 11:33 PM
